Now ask yourself that question again. It can be anything you want, a dream, a goal, a new job, travel the world... the list is endless. When you think about it, I believe we all have something that sprung to mind.
For me it was my seven year dream that saw me move to Sydney to build myself a better life, an exciting life. It was something I wanted for so long, that I was willing to leave behind my home and loved ones in the UK to make it happen.
And I made it... I finally got to experience the Sydney lifestyle I always wanted. I found myself a home and created new friendships. I also found myself a job that I have thoroughly enjoyed, working for a company that I absolutely love. It was happening, after 30 years, I was starting to feel like everything was finally falling into place.
But unfortunately things in life don't always go as planned, and as I have recently experienced, it only takes one day for everything to change.
Some of you will know that whilst I have been in Australia, I have been on my working holiday visa (WHV) and as part of the process to gain my second year visa, I was required to do three months regional work.
It used to be a very simple process, however over the last couple of years the laws have changed and as a result I was required to submit extra immigration forms, payslips, bank statements, contract of employment, superannuation statement and other evidence that I did the work, as this guaranteed my second year - But is it really guaranteed? Well unfortunately it's not for everyone and sadly, after three tedious months of waiting, mine wasn't accepted (and I wasn’t the only one).
Having trusted in the employer where I worked, I was promised my second year visa and so worked an excessive amount of hours on minimum wage, for what was definitely three of the most challenging months of my life - only to be refused by immigration because of 1/10 of work on my application wasn’t deemed to be in line with legislation.
But who was to blame...? Was it immigration for being unfair and harsh in their assessment, my employer for false advertisement, or myself for trusting that it would be guaranteed? I certainly don't feel to blame, but I feel annoyed that I did the work and yet it didn’t count for anything. So rather than blame, I feel more used, exploited, ashamed and annoyed. When we rang up and questioned them, we were told by immigration that “it really depends who’s desk it lands on...” which is reassuring!
Some people have asked if I can appeal, and yes I do have the right to but it costs $1500 and currently this isn't an option because of my current job and the visa work restrictions that apply for the WHV make it impossible.
So there you go, what do I do? seven years of dreams, shattered... in one day.
So where does this leave me now?
Immigration has given me 35 days to leave Australia, so as my back up plan I will be moving to New Zealand so that I can continue my journey. This means I have very little time to plan my new life, as it wasn't one I'd really planned for. I have so many thoughts running through my mind such as 'Where will I live? How will I meet people? Where is my life going? What do I do now?'.
With huge disappointment and sadness, I will be cutting my dream short and leaving behind me yet another set of friends, and another home - and the thought of this breaks my heart. Of course it's exciting, its another chance to see the world but having to leave behind the life I worked hard for and was willing to sacrifice everything for, isn't going to be easy.
As I grow up and endure this journey I am on, I realise that life doesn't always work out the way you imagined or dreamed it would. Sometimes you are presented with detours and challenges, that test and make life hard for you. It doesn't mean the end, it just means you have to be willing to be flexible, embrace the change and trust that everything will work out the way it's meant to.
It’s easy to feel disheartened and lose the desire to continue pursuing that goal, that was once very important to you because it hasn’t been easy, and maybe there are other things going on in your life that leave you with a cynical outlook and a sour attitude. But this isn’t how it needs to be. In fact the best thing to do, is pick up the threads of hope and start to transform them into motivation because if it’s really your dream, it’ll be worth the wait.
I have no doubt that New Zealand is amazing but I can't help but feel anxious about moving there. Another 2,155km away from home, no loved ones, no plans, no home. Right now I feel overwhelmed and a little bit lost. It's like I need time to find those threads, reset and bring back my passion for new challenges once again.
Sydney stole my heart and will continue to be my dream, so hopefully with sponsorship, we will be reunited again but until then, life has another plan for me.
With everything changing, I have an unsettling time ahead of me and knowing what will make me the happiest, is going to be the hardest part of it all.
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